Scarletts Scars Ch.4

-and i dont want the world to see me, cuz i dont think that theyd understand.. everything is made to be broken, i just want you to know who i am...-

I sit at my easle, staring at my blank sketchbook page in front of me.
"Draw the first beautiful thing that comes to mind" were the teachers instructions. So simple, but all I can think of is Blake.

Hes not beautiful...
But the he had looked at me was..
No! No feelings. i cant let myself do that again... no...

I close my eyes and let my pencil guide me across the rough paper. I dont realise that Ive opened my eyes and is working on the details in colored pencil. I look at what Ive gotten done and see my brothers face smiling up at me.

Well.. its better than drawing Blake i guess.. But Zach? ...i miss him...

"Thats amazing. Is that, like, your boyfriend or something?" A high pitched voice says from over my shoulder.
I turn around and almost ram my face into a bright pink push up bra, thats barely being covered by a green tank top. I look up and see Brittany, a sophmore who is quote-unquote easy, but a damn good sculptor. I grab my chalkboard from the side of my easle and write:
no, my brother.
Then hand it to her.

"Oh how old is he? Hes fiiiiine..." Brittany says, giggling.

I take the chalkbaord back and write:
well, he wouldve been 15 next month...
he died last year...

As I hand the chalkboard back to Brittany, I see Blake walking towards me, sketchbook in hand.

"Oh.. Im sorry.. I.. I didnt know.." Brittany says, her voice alot less highpitched.

I nod to say its okay as Blake walks up, causing Brittany to go into "flirt mode".

"Hi, Im Brittany, whats your name?" She says to Blake, standing straighter.

"Hi, Im Blake. Hey, scarlett, I was wondering if I could draw you for the assignment.. Flowers and landscapes are getting boring.."

"Oh! Oh! You can draw me!" Brittany says, stepping infront of me, forcing him to look at her.

As Blake tries to move Brittany out of the way, I pack up my sketchbook and pencils and grab my chalkboard. I walk over to the teacher and write on it to ask permission to draw outside. After getting Mr. Reynalds approval of leaving class, I shove my chalkboard into my bag and hand him my sketch, then leave.
Outside, I take out my sketchbook and sit under the raining tree, as some people call it, because it drips watery sap from the branches. I start sketching the quad with my charcoal pencils and then take out my ipod, push play, and then hit shuffle playlist.

-i know this pretty rave girl, always think about her, when she says hi to me, wanna take a chance and get a little closer, maybe get to know her...-

I was so into everything Im doing, i didn't notice Blake sitting by the other tree across the quad sketching me as I sketch.
_______________________________

-just dance-
CLICK
-lets have some fun, this beat is sick, i wanna take a ride in your disco sti-
CLICK
-brass monkey! that funkey monkey!-
CLICK

I couldnt find anything to listen to.. shuffle is starting to piss me off.
I was sitting in the choir room, waiting for show choir to end so I could practice with Mr. Fritzen. Choir is the only thing that I have left to prove to people that I still have a voice. And many people are too shocked to believe it when they hear my solos. The mute girl sings.
As I am lost in thought, I look over to see Blake sitting under the tree in the quad, still drawing. Part of me was curious as to what he was doing, Another part told me to sit and wait for Fritzen to be available. But another part wondered more...

What if he likes me..?

I look at Mr. Fritzen to see him yelling at someone to get out, and come to the conclusion that waiting would be too pointless. I get up and start walking over to Blake. Halfway there, he gets up and starts to pack his things into his backpack.

Oh.. hes leaving...

I stand there a moment, indecicive. Should I go up to him anyway? As i start to turn around to walk away, someone taps me on the shoulder. I look back, and run into the front of Blakes rolling stones T-shirt.

"Hey there!" Blake says, looking down at me and laughing.

I nod my hello up at him and rub my nose a little bit.

"Hey you wanna go grab something to eat?" He asks, still laughing some.

I open my mouth in suprise and then close it quickly and shake my head, pointing to the choir room.

"Oh, practice?"

I nod and turn away, walking back to the choir room.

"Okay, so Ill wait." He says, looking down at me as he catches up. He was serious. He could tell that I was about to object, so he stood his ground. "I'm not losing you again today. youve had me chasing you all day, I think Ive earned buying you some food and giving you a ride home."

I stand there for a moment in amazment, wondering what to do. I look at him, and then at the choir room, where show choir was starting to leave.

Crap.. Im not getting out of this..

I walk past him and over to the choir room door, then stop and turn around, waiting for him to follow. Inside, Mr. Fritzen was sitting inside his office. I walk over to the door and knock a couple times.

"Oh great! youre here! Do you want to do your solo?" Mr. Fritzen asks enthusiastically.

I knock twice for yes and smile.

"Good. Lets get started then," Mr. Fritzen said, walking over to the piano.

Sitting at the piano with the music in front of him, Mr. Fritzen seemed.. more calm.. less crazy.

haha, at least show choir didnt piss him off too badly

My song, my immortal by evanessance, really makes me want to talk again.. But a song isnt enough. As I start to sing, i try as hard as I can NOT to look at Blake. No go.
I glance over, expecting to see the usual reaction, but instead I see him just.. listening. I jumble a word slightly but keep going.

I cant believe hes hearing me sing.. God.. i cant fall for him.. I cant!

After I finish practicing with Fritzen, Blake leads me to his car.

"So, youre really good," He says, smiling at me as he starts the car.

I start to take out my phone to type a message out to him, but he stops me.

"No, dont say anything. I kinda just wanna talk to you.. if thats okay..?" He asks, seeming shy.

I nod my head, and sit back, folding my arms over my chest.

"Okay, I barely know you. But i like you. You interest me. You dont talk.. which.. I can understand. When you smile, your whole face lights up, and your voice is amazing. You have so much talent, and I feel as if I know you, but I dont. Its weird, but right from the start, I felt like I knew you from somewhere," He said, all in one big rush.

I was overwhelmed by evcerything he was telling me.
I open my mouth, almost saying something but closing it again before i do.

"Is it okay if i ask how your brother died...?" He asks quietly.

I shake my head no, turning to the window.

"Alright."

I take my phone out of my pocket and text a new message to him.

message: Let me out on the corner please

I hand him the phone and he sighs.
As the line of cars moves ahead, Blake doesnt move the car. After about two minutes of honking and yelling, he presses the gas, shooting the car forward a bit too fast.

"HOLYSHIT!" I say as my head hits the back of the seat.
The first time Id said anything since my brothers funeral..

"Oh my god I'm so sorry! Are you okay??" Blake asked, looking a bit scared. "Im so sorry. I dont know why I did that..."

I didnt say anything. I didnt even look at him. I waited untill we stopped at a red light, then unbuckled the seat belt, grabbed my bag and got out of the car. I walked down the sidewalk, ignoring Blake as he called my name. I am done.

I knew I shouldve never talked to him...